How successful is a deaf marrying a hearing person?

Silhouette of Deaf Couple Signing (photo from Getty Images)
After reading this blog post about a romantic relationship between a hearing and a deaf that works, I started to ponder on it based on what I observed here in the Philippines. This post is very timely because sweet smelling love is in the air during this Valentine’s day. ๐Ÿ™‚

A few days ago, I was shockingly surprised to receive a call from one of Eat Bulaga’s staff. He got my number from our school’s website (proving that our school is very popular on the Internet). I wondered why the longest running noontime variety show on Philippine television (possibly the world because they will be celebrating their 30th anniversary this year) would need me for? Well, Mr. Jojo (my namesake) Dunca requested if I could recommend to him two married couples; one hearing wife of deaf husband and one deaf wife of hearing husband, to participate in their special Valentine contest of “Sa Pula, Sa Puti“. This game pits two teams, red and white, by answering a series of easy questions. This time, they want married couples who are persons with disabilities from ages 18 to 45. They want the hearing spouses to interpret for their deaf partners. They must also present special numbers before they start with the Q & A proper. I’m familiar with the game because I’m an Eat Bulaga fan. I told the staff I would get back to him as soon as I can find one.

Now, I was on a tight spot. How can I find couples who are willing to join in the contest? On top of that, how can I find couples who would fit that description? I started texting my hearing friends to give me some referrals. I received none.

Then, it dawned on me. After being with the community for nearly twenty years, I only know four pairs of hearing and deaf. All of them are deaf husbands married to hearing wives. I haven’t met any deaf woman married to a hearing man. I’m not saying there aren’t anyone. But I haven’t had a chance to know one. Most couples I’ve seen are both deaf.

This leads me back to my main query, how successful is a deaf marrying a hearing person? Here are my succinct personal observations on the four couples I had the opportunity to be acquainted with:

  • The hearing wives are skilled signers. They had a deep immersion on deaf culture and its peculiarities.
  • The deaf husbands are well respected leaders of the community. They have the appeal and at the same time, the intellectual maturity compared to other male deaf of the same age.
  • Since deaf people are more straightforward in dealing with things, hearing wives tend to be more forbearing and patient with their deaf husbands than the other way around.

As for my Eat Bulaga dilemma, I told the staff I can’t find one. Last thing I heard, the show went on with the game last Friday without any deaf participants. Happy Valentine’s day everyone! ๐Ÿ™‚

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14 thoughts on “How successful is a deaf marrying a hearing person?

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  1. Yes, it is rare for hearing men to marry deaf women, although I am one of them. There was one part in your post that bothered me: “They want the hearing spouses to interpret for their deaf partners.” Even though my husband is an interpreter, he never interprets for me in situations where they should be able to get their own interpreter. If I relied on my husband to interpret everything, I believe it would cause a rift between us and I would develop an unhealthy dependence on him. Perhaps this is one reason hearing/deaf marriages are so rare?

  2. @Rox

    Thanks for commenting. I understand and agree with your comments. It’s just that in the TV game setup the hosts will be interviewing the couple. Since the hearing spouse knows sign language, he/she will be asked to interpret for his/her deaf spouse. They won’t be hiring a special interpreter on a pretense that the hearing spouse understands his/her deaf partner and can voice for his/her. Besides, they would compete there as a team so they might as well support each other to win. I don’t make the rules. It’s their TV show so they call the shots. I was just asked to recommend potential participants. ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Meryl

    Thanks for commenting and congratulations for 20 successful years of married life. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I understand that the interpreter thing is out of your hands, but I still find it interesting that they would assume all hearing spouses of deaf people would know sign, because some don’t. Hmm…

  4. hi how r u??…i am fine….i job well…i fail search girls deaf….i think get marrying grils deaf…girls beautiful very give me ….truth i have beautiful….reply

  5. pwede naman i participle and deaf and interpreter,,basta nakakintindi ng sign. eat bulaga fan din ako.sana may deaf participle din sa eat bulaga like pinoy henyo kasi madalas yan nilalaro ng mga deaf at sa sschool namin. i am daef from csb.

  6. I leant how to communicate using sign language and i have realised that almost 98% of the people cant communicate and i also have fallen in love with a deaf lady, truely these deaf people have got love we must learn to appreciate them the way they are.I LOVE YOU MY LINNET u mean the wold to me i wish to get married to her

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